Among the most difficult situations for someone who has requested a love binding is the one in which the person called is undecided — divided between two orientations, between two people, between past and present. This indecision may be open and declared ("I don't know what I want"), or may show itself through contradictory behaviours that betray it even when it is not expressed in words.
In the esoteric field, indecision has a precise structure — and this structure is different from emotional closure, from anger, or from any other form of resistance to the binding. Understanding it is fundamental to grasping how the binding operates in this specific situation and what progression to expect.
Indecision as an unstable field structure
In the esoteric field, indecision between two orientations corresponds to a field in a state of oscillation. The field of the undecided person is not stably oriented towards either pole — it moves between them, following the variations of the emotional moment, of external events, of the pressures perceived from both sides.
This oscillation has an important characteristic: it is a field that is still open in both directions. It has not closed in either. This means that the binding has access to a field that is not definitively oriented elsewhere — which is very different from a binding on a person who has made a choice and has definitively moved away.
At the same time, the oscillation makes the field unstable — subject to rapid variations, difficult to read precisely, subject to movements that may seem contradictory in short-term observation. The undecided person approaches and withdraws, sends signals that seem encouraging and then retreats, says things that seem to open doors and then closes them again.
The origins of indecision in the field
Indecision has different roots depending on the specific situation, and each root corresponds to a different field structure.
Indecision can arise from real resonances in both directions: the person is genuinely in resonance with both people or both options, and the field reflects this real duality. In these cases, indecision is not pathological — it is the honest response of a field that has material in both directions. The binding in this context works to amplify the resonance towards the person who requested it relative to that towards the other direction.
Indecision can arise from fear of choosing and losing: the person cannot decide because any choice implies a loss, and the field is in a state of defensive paralysis. In these cases, indecision does not necessarily reflect an equal resonance in both directions, but a structure of avoidance of the pain of loss. The binding in this context works on the deep resonances that can help the field find an orientation.
Indecision can arise from external pressures: family, friends, social expectations push in one direction while the deep field points in another. The person is undecided not because both directions are equally attractive in the deep field, but because the surface field and the deep field are in conflict. The binding in this context works on the deep field, which is the one most accessible to esoteric work.
The binding on an oscillating field: specific dynamics
A binding on an oscillating field has dynamics different from those of a stable field, in either direction. The rapid variation of the field produces a much more irregular experience of the process: there are moments when everything seems to be going in the right direction (the person approaches, the signs are positive), followed by moments when the situation seems to go back (the person withdraws, the signs are ambiguous or negative).
These cycles of advance and withdrawal do not indicate failure of the binding — they are the natural characteristic of an oscillating field. The binding does not eliminate the oscillation immediately: it works to shift the centre of gravity of the oscillation gradually towards the desired pole. Over time, the moments of approach become more frequent and longer, and the moments of withdrawal become shorter and less deep.
The progression of the binding on an oscillating field is therefore spiral — not linear. It does not go straight towards the final result, but along a path that advances and returns, advances further and returns less, until the field stabilises in the desired orientation.
The undecided person and the weight of the two resonances
When the indecision is between two specific people — between the one who requested the binding and another — the assessment of the binding necessarily includes reading both resonances in the field of the person called.
How deep is the resonance towards the person who requested the binding? How deep is that towards the other? Which of the two is more rooted in the deep field, and which is more superficial? The answer to these questions determines the real possibilities of the binding.
As already discussed in the article on love binding and the third party, when the resonance towards the person who requested the binding is deeper than that towards the other — when the shared history is denser, when the traces in the deep field are more rooted — the binding operates under favourable conditions: it is amplifying the deeper resonance against the more superficial one. When the relation is reversed, the conditions are more complex.
Signs that the undecided person is oriented towards the requester in the deep field
Even when the undecided person behaves in a way that seems ambivalent on the surface, certain signs reveal where their deep field lies.
One relevant sign is the emotional quality of the moments with each of the two people. If the moments with the person who requested the binding have a quality of emotional intensity — even mixed, even ambivalent — while the moments with the other have a flatter quality, this is an indicator of the deep field.
Another sign is the kind of confidences the person shares with each: if they share the most important things with the person who requested the binding — doubts, fears, the most authentic thoughts — even while declaring themselves undecided, the deep field reveals where the most authentic connection exists.
A third sign is behaviour in the absence of external pressure: what does the person do when no one is watching, when they are not under pressure from either direction? Whom they seek spontaneously, whom they contact without a specific practical reason, who comes to mind in certain quiet moments — these spontaneous behaviours reflect the deep field more faithfully than any statement made under pressure.
What not to do with an undecided person during the binding
The behaviour of the person who requested the binding is particularly critical in a context of indecision, because certain mistaken behaviours can block the process of choice in the field of the person called.
The commonest mistake is explicit pressure to decide: "you have to choose", "me or him/her", ultimatums of any kind. The undecided person — who is already in a field state under pressure — responds to external pressure by intensifying their defensive paralysis. Pressure to decide makes the decision harder, not easier.
Equally counterproductive is total, unconditional availability — the attitude of someone who is always available whatever happens, who has no boundaries, who accepts any treatment. This absolute availability is perceived in the field as a lack of structure — and the field of the undecided person tends not to find an anchor point in something that seems to have no weight.
The most favourable behaviour is one that offers real presence and authentic resonance — not an absence of boundaries, but full presence with one's own specificity. A presence that leaves space but does not disappear.
The moment of stabilisation
In the process of the binding on an undecided person, there is a moment — difficult to predict precisely — when the field stops oscillating and stabilises. This moment does not always coincide with an explicit declaration: more often, stabilisation takes place in the field before being declared in ordinary reality.
The signs of stabilisation include a more regular and less oscillating quality of presence on the part of the person called, a reduction in ambivalent behaviours, an increase in willingness to open up emotionally. When these signs accumulate over time without significant withdrawals, stabilisation is under way.
FAQ: frequently asked questions on binding on an undecided person
The person says they don't know what they want. Is that a negative sign?
Not necessarily. As described in this article, declared indecision may reflect a field structure that is still open in both directions — including that of the person who requested the binding. It does not indicate that the field is closed towards the requester — it indicates that the field is in oscillation.
If the person is seeing someone else while undecided, can the binding still work?
Yes. Indecision in the presence of another active person is a complex scenario for the binding, but not an impossible one. The most important variable is the relative depth of the two resonances in the deep field of the person called. If the resonance towards the person who requested the binding is more deeply rooted, the binding operates under favourable conditions.
How long can the indecision last before it stabilises?
It varies greatly. In some cases, stabilisation takes place within weeks; in others, the process of indecision lasts months. The binding works to shift the centre of gravity of the oscillation over time — but it cannot eliminate the oscillation immediately. Patience in observing the pattern, rather than individual episodes, is fundamental in this context.
If the person has chosen the other, can the binding still change the situation?
If the choice has been made but has not yet stabilised in the deep field — if the person still shows oscillating behaviours, still seeks contact with the person who requested the binding, has not really stopped comparing the two options — the field is not definitively closed. The binding can still find the deep resonances to work on. If the choice is genuinely stabilised in the deep field, the picture is more complex — as described in the article on love binding and free will.
